I cant lose you too
by alloftheotherpenameswheretaken
Summary: Misaki wants Usagi to quit smoking and they get into a fight (rated M for language); Oneshot


"Usagi-San, I'm home!" Misaki yelled as he entered the large apartment. Usagi was sitting on the couch with his favorite book that he had already read over 7 times. The spine was cracked and the pages had folded corners it had been used so often. Usagi knew pretty much every word of the book by heart but could still read it as if it were the first time.

"Welcome home" he said as he let out a puff of smoke from the cigarette hanging off of the corner of his mouth. Misaki scowled when he saw the thin, white, life shortening cancer stick in his lovers mouth. He had been trying to get Usagi to stop smoking for a while now, but Usagi always just brushed it off.

"Usagi-san, what did I say about smoking?" Misaki asked as he set his bag down by the door. There was no answer._ The old shit's ignoring me!_ he shouted in his head.

"Usagi-san" He said in a louder tone, stiffening. Still Usagi continued to read, sitting in his own world.

"Usagi-san!" Misaki fumed, marching over to his older lover and ripping out the cigarette harshly, finally catching his lover's attention.

"What?" He asked flatly, setting his book down and reaching for his pack of cigarettes, only to have the white box swiped from his hands.

"Don't you 'What' me," Misaki shouted, "I told you, I don't want you smoking!"

Already losing his cool from a loss of cigarettes, Usagi sighed, closing his eyes trying to calm himself down by counting to ten."Misaki," he paused, "I'm an author, I need to deal with my stress somehow, and considering that you don't like how I choose relieve my stress with you, I need to smoke." He stood up and made his way to the door, grabbing his coat on the way.

"Where do you think you're going?" Misaki's eyes followed Usai as he made his way across the living room.

"I'm going out to buy cigarettes." Usagi said in one of those pissy "calm" voices, "Because you're probably not going to give me those ones back" not even bothering to turn around as he said it.

"Wow!" Misaki threw his hands up in the air as he shouted in disbelief. Making his way to the kitchen. "I can't believe you!" Usagi stayed silent, only turning a bit to look at Misaki.

"Here I am, worried about you, but you're just going to Ignore my, _your lover's_, request, and go out to do the exact opposite!" he scoffed, slamming the box down on the table with a loud crack!

"Misaki," Usagi was losing composure, "I don't know why you're worried! I'm buying them with my own money, and It's not like I'm making you smoke, So what is the big deal?" his voice was getting louder with each phrase. "you've never complained until just recently so what's wrong?!" he turned to completely face his lover.

Misaki couldn't stop the burning, angry tears that were leaking from his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. "You idiot" he whispered so only he could hear it.

"what?" Usagi asked, well passed annoyed. He folded his arms and impatiently tapped his foot.

"You idiot!" Misaki shouted, crying even harder now, "You Fucking bastard!"

"I'm going" Usagi said as he turned to open the door.

"USAMI AKIHIKO!" Misaki shouted the loudest he had yet that night. Marching over to grab Usagi's sleeve and pull him back in the apartment.

"You're really gonna make me say it, huh Asshole!? Fine! I'm SCARED!" he seethed through tears.

Blinking at the boys sudden outburst, Usagi tried to say something but the man, this world renowned author, was at a loss for words.

"I'm scared to DEATH that you're going to go too soon. Before I'm ready. I lost my my parents dammit, I'm NOT! going to lose you too!" He poked the man's chest roughly, as if to prove a point. "But if you're too damn selfish to quit then go ahead and die young! leave me here, ALONE!" Misaki sobbed.

Surprising the author and himself, Misaki clutched Usagi's collar and pulled him into a searing kiss. The kiss wasnt very tender but it was loving and desperate.

Upon releasing the older taller man, Misaki found the voice to say the words Usagi had always longed to hear, only not in this tense of a situation.

"I. LOVE. YOU! I LOVE YOU, DAMMIT! OK?!" he finaly shouted, banging the words on Usagi's chest.

"Misaki," Usagi finally pulled the sobbing boy into a hug. "I'm so, so sorry" he buraied his face in the soft brown locks. "I'm sorry I yelled and Im sorry I didnt listen to you. I love you and I am so so so sorry." he rambled.

Misaki hugged Usagi back, burying his face in Usagi's toned chest. Muffling his sobs. Finally after a few minutes, Misaki pulled himself together and looked Usagi in the eyes. His own green orbs bloodshot from crying so hard.

"Misaki, I promise I wont ever smoke again." he smiled sadly, using his thumb to wipe away the last leaking tears.

"Its ok Usagi-san, It doesn't have to be all at once. You can cut back at first, then slowly cut back more and more. Just please, at any rate, stop. I cant lose you" Misaki returned the bittersweet smile.

"I won't let you lose me," Usagi tenderly kissed Misaki's forehead. "I promise. I love you

* * *

**How do you think of them apples? I'm sorry it was kind of a serious subject to write about but I just thought about what would happen if Usagi got lung cancer or something. :(**

**MJK**


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